Msholozi, My President.

I can just imagine all Jacob Zuma naysayers rolling their eyes and releasing a deep grunt of indignation from the depths of their person as they read the current title, "Here we go again!  Another defender of the corrupt, uneducated, singing and dancing rapist who stole the presidency from the intellectual Mbeki."  Nonetheless, I proffer my humble opinion on this ... strange fellow.

Pres. Zuma is a politician!  Politics is, like the arms industry, a shady and corrupt world.  So when his son, daughter or nephew is awarded a board membership or multi-million Rand capital grants I am in no way surprised.  Corruption in governments happens all around the world and has been happening in South Africa well before our new democracy.  Take for instance the "Arms Deal" scandal that is currently being re-investigated by parliament, this is not the first time such has happened mo Mzansi.  The apartheid government spent around R378bn on the secret procurement of weapons and secret defence projects over which the auditor general had little oversight (see Business Day, A Baffling Silence on the Long Tail of Apartheid Corruption) or just read Apartheid Grand Corruption Report.

Now I must, at this point, make it very clear that I am in no way condoning corruption, indeed it would be fallacious to do so.  In fact it is the very bane of our existence, stealing from the poor to feed the rich.  What I am saying however is that we should not be so surprised when it happens.  Maybe Ntate Jacob Zuma has been corrupt, maybe not; I’m just saying if he has, stop acting like y’all didn’t expect it from a politician.  Rather, we should teach the youth about things that come easy and how easily they dissipate.  We should strengthen our crime fighting institutions and work towards changing the current culture of politics in South Africa.

Having said all that let me put out there how I feel Pres. Zuma has fucked up:

1.    Whether or not the Nkandla debacle was above board, R200mil is way too much money to spend on a home.  That money could’ve been put to much better use, like building more houses or flushing toilets for the poor.  I am quite sure Mr. President would agree.  Ignorance is no excuse, you can’t say I didn’t know what was happening or how much was spent #fail!

2.    As a man, sleeping with your comrade’s daughter is just wrong!  Consensual or not baba, it’s one of the cardinal, unwritten laws of magents.  We all know that dude! #MenAgainstBitchNiggerism!!

3.    And most important for me, keep things under the carpet!!  As I type this, I’m listening to SAfm and they’re discussing cheating and most guys calling in agree that as long as your lady don’t know, it’s cool.  Now, I don’t know about cheating in particular … box of Pandora, but I do know about keeping things quiet!  Whatever you do, you can’t just be willy-nilly!  Come on Mr. Pres., I always thought you had game.  You just keep getting busted! LOL!  

Okay, let me get outta here.  Before I do I want to tell you all to stop hating on a player!  J Zed got mad game and most of you are just straight up hating!  You people are just angry that he can sing and dance better than Mandela or Mbeki could!  Oh don’t get it wrong, those cats sang and danced at rallies and other political gatherings too, just not as well as Msholozi.  I mean, how did we learn the Mandela jive?  You think the NIA sent out secret tapes of Mandela to the media? NO!  You saw him too! 

All right people … have a blessed day!